Balance for anyone on the spectrum is usually difficult. With our obsession and interests, finding the balance between being alone and spending time with others can be near impossible for some people. I have that problem more than Mike does. He doesn't really have any overwhelming interests; I have more than enough for both of us. Often the time spent on these interests causes problems. While Mike doesn't have many, one he does have is me and my interests get in the way of us spending time together.
Finding the balance is key and after four years, we're still looking for it. My current obsession is trying to get my book finished. I've started on the rewrite and it takes up a lot of my time and energy. I just hopes it gets a little easier to find that balance when Mike starts back to classes on the 23. I'll have about 5 hours on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays to get writing and other stuff done. Hopefully that balance will lead to balance in other areas.
Ideas for balance as proposed by others:
Time limits on each interest--a sound idea, but comes with problems of its own. How do you put a time limit on an interest that overwhelms the senses?
Involve the other side in the interest--tried and works, to a point. Be considerate of interests on both sides of the relationship, which is hard.
I'm sure we'll figure it out. It's just going to take time (of which there is plenty) and patience (of which there is usually little). I'll keep you updated.