Balance for anyone on the spectrum is usually difficult. With our obsession and interests, finding the balance between being alone and spending time with others can be near impossible for some people. I have that problem more than Mike does. He doesn't really have any overwhelming interests; I have more than enough for both of us. Often the time spent on these interests causes problems. While Mike doesn't have many, one he does have is me and my interests get in the way of us spending time together.
Finding the balance is key and after four years, we're still looking for it. My current obsession is trying to get my book finished. I've started on the rewrite and it takes up a lot of my time and energy. I just hopes it gets a little easier to find that balance when Mike starts back to classes on the 23. I'll have about 5 hours on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays to get writing and other stuff done. Hopefully that balance will lead to balance in other areas.
Ideas for balance as proposed by others:
Time limits on each interest--a sound idea, but comes with problems of its own. How do you put a time limit on an interest that overwhelms the senses?
Involve the other side in the interest--tried and works, to a point. Be considerate of interests on both sides of the relationship, which is hard.
I'm sure we'll figure it out. It's just going to take time (of which there is plenty) and patience (of which there is usually little). I'll keep you updated.
Showing posts with label ASD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ASD. Show all posts
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Cats and ASD
A lot of people joke that cats have Asperger's. After watching our cat, Stormy, I have to agree. It's quite funny to watch, actually. One second Stormy is a nice and loving cat who'll walk up to you purring his little heart away and the next second he turns his tail to you and will bite you if touched. He runs if anyone comes to visit and stays hidden until long after they leave and takes off at the slightest "wrong" sound such as a computer chair being moved or opening the oven.
He hates anything to be out of place and will meow and complain like crazy if something is moved. A few weeks ago I cleared off a bookshelf so we'd have a surface to put food and drinks on and Stormy complained for days about it. He would look up at the bookshelf and meow, meow, meow. We even put him up there to see if he'd like it as a perch but he wanted nothing to do with it. He wasn't happy until the pictures were on top of it again.
Stormy, like other cats I've owned, is obsessive about time. He knows when his box is cleaned and will come bother me wherever I'm at and meow at me until I go clean it. He's the same way with his food. It's quite adorable sometimes.
Whenever Mike's gone, even if it's just going out to get something, Stormy goes through the house meowing like crazy and opening up all the doors trying to find him. He hates having his environment changed by one of us being gone for any period of time. He's only content when he knows where both of us are and that we are where we're supposed to be.
The reason I'm thinking on this line today is a conversation Mike and I have been having about ASD and pets. For me cats are best. I can relate to them and understand them batter than any other type of animal I've ever had. For Mike it's always been dogs. It's been my experience that animals are good for anyone who has any type of "problem" with communication. Cats and dogs help us to see the world in a different way and help us by giving someone with whom to communicate on a level we're comfortable with. For both ASD and non-ASD children, animals teach responsibility and caring for a creature other than ourselves. I wholeheartedly recommend animals for anyone on the spectrum; they are more important than you can imagine because animals have communication problems too and it's up to us to figure out what they want.
He hates anything to be out of place and will meow and complain like crazy if something is moved. A few weeks ago I cleared off a bookshelf so we'd have a surface to put food and drinks on and Stormy complained for days about it. He would look up at the bookshelf and meow, meow, meow. We even put him up there to see if he'd like it as a perch but he wanted nothing to do with it. He wasn't happy until the pictures were on top of it again.
Stormy, like other cats I've owned, is obsessive about time. He knows when his box is cleaned and will come bother me wherever I'm at and meow at me until I go clean it. He's the same way with his food. It's quite adorable sometimes.
Whenever Mike's gone, even if it's just going out to get something, Stormy goes through the house meowing like crazy and opening up all the doors trying to find him. He hates having his environment changed by one of us being gone for any period of time. He's only content when he knows where both of us are and that we are where we're supposed to be.
The reason I'm thinking on this line today is a conversation Mike and I have been having about ASD and pets. For me cats are best. I can relate to them and understand them batter than any other type of animal I've ever had. For Mike it's always been dogs. It's been my experience that animals are good for anyone who has any type of "problem" with communication. Cats and dogs help us to see the world in a different way and help us by giving someone with whom to communicate on a level we're comfortable with. For both ASD and non-ASD children, animals teach responsibility and caring for a creature other than ourselves. I wholeheartedly recommend animals for anyone on the spectrum; they are more important than you can imagine because animals have communication problems too and it's up to us to figure out what they want.
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